It was Chinese New Year on Tuesday. How did I celebrate it? My class went camping, i.e. sleeping in 2-person-tents and having lectures under the trees.
My leaders granted me a few minutes to share some CNY customs with the class, and I gave each one of them a 揮春 + a Chinese name—to bless them. To my surprise, some of them felt blessed to know about other cultures.
I could never have imagined that going camping would have triggered some of my deep-rooted childhood fears that I have long forgotten...
Since primary school, I was always left out from pair work + group work. I had forgotten how many fears I had towards being excluded and unwanted—until needing to pair-ups often again here, mainly for tents! Although I know that my fear of rejection is kinda irrational, I was constantly tempted to slide back into my old fears.
I’m truly thankful for my young leaders + classmates, whom I could feel safe enough to share my feelings with, which is probably one of the essential steps to fight against my fear of rejection.
Although it’s not the most pleasant experience to face my fears so intensively, I believe that it is significant + sanctifying—before our outreach time.
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